Death envies life

"The reason death sticks so closely to life isn't biological necessity - it's envy. Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can. But life leaps over oblivion lightly, losing only a thing or two of no importance, and gloom is but the passing shadow of a cloud." -Yann Martel

I'm sick right now. Forced to rest as it stands, which is a fate that I am not thrilled with at the moment, especially in my second week of school.

I've heard it said that sickness is just a slower form of death, which I suppose it is. Our bodies aren't able to perform to it's fullest. I definitely feel sluggish when I'm under the weather or 'looking up at rock bottom" as quoted by Andrew Gaz recently. Everything just has to slow down. For instance this afternoon I sat in the park on a blanket and read the first few chapters of "Life of Pie" for my professional writing class. The above quote stuck out to me, thinking that life really is beautiful. It's meant to be savored and cherished in every passing moment. We are meant to enjoy living and being with each other. Yet, when I'm sick all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep my days away until I'm better.

This is precisely what I didn't do. After reading this quote I thought I would remind this sickness what it wanted to begin with, the lovely life I was living. Hoping then it may leave me alone once it knew it couldn't have my wonderful life but rather just try and imitate it with it's best shadow impression.

I strolled over to the farmers market, picked up some fresh vegetable, oven-baked bread, sheep cheese and raw cacao for energy. When I got home I was welcomed by incredible roommates all of whom sympathized with my pathetic state. Sarah looked over at me and said "you're so pale you look like a ghost." Great, I didn't think I could get any lighter. Fading fast, I put together a really fresh and hearty meal, sat down in the living room surrounded by company and watched tv because I could. Sure I had work to do, laundry to start and probably a few other errands I could have come up with. But all I felt I could do was sit on the couch surrounded by love, eat some nutritious food and watch a mind numbing screen for a couple hours. Somehow, this combined with the fresh air from the lay in the park was just what I needed. I'm learning that it's okay to leave things be and just rest until I have the gusto to get up and go again....sigh...

I'm learning...

Life is simpler than we make it out to be. Lately I seem to be finding beauty in the most mundane things. Like chopping vegetables I suppose. Gloom really is just a passing shadow and for shadows to exist there must be light somewhere.

No wonder my heart is happy from the inside out,

And from the outside in, I'm firmly formed -

My body rests in safety.

For you will not leave my soul among the dead

Or allow me to rot in the grave.

You will show me the way of life,

Granting me the joy of your presence

And the pleasures of living with you

Forever.

Psalm 16: 10-11

Eternity is now! Why wait to live when the journey of life is meant to be so splendid?