Ask and let breath in...

"The Children's Song" - Josh Garrels from Josh Garrels on Vimeo.

In this world you will have trouble.

But Jesus overcame the world.

And our body is His Temple.

And we will worship forever more.

Music is sweet and soothing to our souls. It has a way of drawing us in, it's the language of beauty that can tend to aches in ways that none else can. It reminds us of something more, of infinite creativity, of life. This is who I'm listening to right now and he's incredible. I think I’m partial to artists who don't open their mouths much when they sing...hahha. Really though, there is heart to this music and Josh is a brilliant musician. Check his stuff out!

For those of you who don't know me well, I'm an International Development student. I’m in the middle of deciphering how I’m going to bring my love for music, songwriting and story telling, into all this. God’s slowly unraveling it. One of the reasons I'm in this program is because I'm interested in people, passionate about justice and tenacious when it comes to sharing a piece of Love that I've had the honor of getting to know. However, the program can be quite trying at times, a bit despondent to say the least, causing me to raise a ton of questions, wondering how there can be so much suffering in the world? God often has to remind me that he is BIG and this stuff isn't too much for him to handle.

I'm a pretty curious gal, constantly asking for new insight. I think that in our journey with God it's so crucial to continuously inquire. He can take care of our questions and wants to share His heart. It's better to be someone who is consciously seeking out new revelation, even if it takes time for answers, than comfortable in the coffin of a boxed mind.

I've been challenged lately to begin to ask for God's heart for his kids. You see worship comes from a place that is giving, willing to offer, and when we approach God with an open heart, ready to listen and not just hand over our lists, He begins to share His secrets; the great mysteries of Heaven. One of my favorite proverbs is 25:2:

"It's the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings."

As royalty, inheritance is a given; inquiry is our glory. Pray into the change you desire to see, God will give you his heart on the matter. Even if all you've got are coals to start off with, God will breath on those coals and create a fire if you let Him. This fire of love will compel you to act, to worship with your whole self. I'm currently in the process of organizing a clothing swap fundraiser for 'Not for Sale' (don't worry if you haven't gotten an invite yet, they're going out Friday). Not for Sale is an anti-trafficking movement that is adamant about raising awareness about the sex-trafficking industry and providing support for victims. This is a huge grievance that God has placed on my heart, to the point that I'm currently spending the majority of my undergraduate research on finding the holes in the system. It's a weighty subject and I’ve been in tears over it more than once this semester. God reminded me that if this is how I felt, imagine how he felt, he wants to see freedom more than I do, and that's A LOT!

In 1833 the Britsh empire legally abolished the slave trade. In 1981 the US went to war over it. In 2010 Human trafficking is one of the largest businesses in the world and comprises over 27 million people in what’s now known as modern day slavery. 80% are sex trafficking victims where women are forced to service over 40 men a day. Every 30 seconds another person becomes a victim. The average age of a victim is 14, some as young as 4. The main option out, death. 99% of the victims aren’t freed…yet! –A21-

Also, I want to be clear, this desire to combat slavery is in no way an attack on those involved in the sex trade. I think people's hunger and desire for love, intimacy and the unknown are counterfeited by the option of false freedom hidden by the name of another.

"The Apostle Paul gave us an excellent example to follow when he went into Athens (Acts 17:22-31); he used the people’s desire for the unknown to bridge them to the True and Known God, Jesus Christ."

What would happen if people began to realize that their bored because their energy is being used up in slavery in the name of 'sexual liberation,' when the real appetite is for love, giving not taking. Hmm...

The reason I quoted Josh Garrels Children's song above is because God doesn't promise that in this world we wont have trouble, but He does fulfill His promise to overcome the world. He makes a way, Light wins, Love conquers! In all this conflict we've been promised victory, which is amazing and my hope is in the one who beat death! Lets do this thing together, as a body of children who house the presence of God, who will live lives of worship in spirit and truth.

Where do you need breath?

Oh and I have to give credit to Sam Radics for discovering this dude:) Love you hunny!

Too much thinking lately...

Lately I have been bombarded with assignments, reading non-stop and filling my brain with empty theories. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that people think and absolutely, you should have a right to an idea but enough is enough. So much talk and not enough action. Love is a verb for a reason, it implies that there is action, people actually do stuff. Wow, what a concept?

This hit me hard today though and as I was sitting in a 4 hour seminar listening to our wonderful development theories, going back and forth on all the possible biases, I realized I'm in an educational incubator and missing the need going on around me, like Haiti for instance. Isn't it ironic that we're going over all the past mistakes of history, trying to prepare for them so we don't mess up again and then a disaster hits that we couldn't account for and many of the future workers are all sitting inside a classroom still discussing the discourse. Wouldn't we learn more if we just collaborated together and did something about the disaster at hand, right now, rather that rolling over the same depressing issues of old.

This is definitely a bit of a rant and less of a well put together piece of writing, however, after this week it's needed!

When I woke up this morning I took about 15 minutes just to chill with God. Sadly, that's about all the extra time I can spare right now. Yet of coarse God still met me in my crazy schedule and reminded me this:

'

While knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens and edifies." 1 Corinthians 8:1b

Now it's interesting because it doesn't say that knowledge is bad, it says that it makes us feel important, which also implies that being important doesn't relate to knowledge, rather it's a simple fact of identity. YOU ARE IMPORTANT! Not because of how much or what you know but because you are, you matter. The unfortunate part is that people don't believe this because today we spend so much time attaining knowledge, getting our qualifications and gold stars rather than just loving people. Again learning isn't bad, it's actually a really good thing but I think Paul was warning us here that although something may make us feel something great, like important, what will actually sustain us is love, beyond just a feeling, but to know intimately and be known.

Anyways this was still on my heart from this morning and was filtering into my thoughts before bed so I decided to share my rant.

What do you think about the whole knowledge/love thing?

Grocery Shopping

You know something’s up when the simple task of grocery shopping and making dinner is completely overwhelming. Am I alone in this one?

As new years past, so did a lot of other stuff. 2009 was an interesting, surprising and extremely stretching year for me. Lets just say I grew tremendously and yet in many ways I feel like I’ve gone backwards. Basically, I was single, had long hair and in University a couple of years ago and 2010 I’m still in what looks like that same spot, but it’s not. My situation is familiar, in many ways the same but the difference is me. I’m just beginning to see this. Sometimes I think we have to choose to go back to things we left, even if it’s scary, because it’s there we see just how much we’ve changed, that we aren’t circumstances of our past!

This said, I think it can be easy to believe that because we are back in familiar territory we missed out or did something wrong along the way. I know I’ve spent some time wondering how I ended up back in this place where life seems like a pile of books, teapots, and meals on the go. I mean, I thought I’d at least mastered the cooking part.

It’s been hard to watch some of my dearest friends move forward into very different seasons than myself, some to careers, many to marriage, and for others just new hair styles. The point is I’m not where they are, but the other side of that is they aren’t where I am. What I’m trying to get at is if I spend my time desiring to be somewhere that I’m not supposed to be, I miss the place I’m in, which is absolutely beautiful, not pain free, but beautiful.

A conversation I had tonight went like this and it totally caught me off guard:

Jane (not real name): I guess I’m afraid to commit to him, to commit to anything really, I mean how do I know I’m not going to miss out?

Jessica: You don’t but if you’re constantly afraid to commit because of fear that you’ll miss something good, you may just miss out on the opportunity staring you in the face.

Jane: coy smile (as if to say, look who’s talking)

Now this is not a conversation about commitment and relationships so much as it is about our hearts being at rest with where we are. We are meant to be FREE not thinking something or someone else will make us feel free. So to everyone reading this, enjoy your place right where you are now. If you're single know that it’s not forever but it’s a lovely gift to get to know yourself better, to grow in friendships, to develop new talents. If married tell your love why you chose them, we all need reminders, even if it’s been said a thousand times.

Okay so this blog has turned out to be a bit more about not comparing ourselves to others and less about my grocery shopping issue but isn’t that the way it goes sometimes. We begin to reflect and while sightseeing through retrospect we notice that as rob bell says, this is actually about that. Perhaps grocery shopping felt exhausting because my heart was wishing I didn't have to cook for one, just a thought.

If I could say one thing for 2010 it would be it’s going to be a year of lots of JOY! That feeling of no matter where you are or what you're doing you are alive. So I'll laugh out loud, step into this great dance and hum a new tune because of the one I'm doing it with and not what surrounds.

It’s time to do some groceries now and when we know we’re not alone, that God actually wants to hang out with us while we're doing something as simple as grocery shopping, suddenly it's not just grocery shopping, it's being where we need to be with someone wonderful. Everyone needs to eat sometime!

“Just knowing that you’re here with me now, it changes everything…When my heart just can’t figure out what it wants, please give me a reason to trust you’ll still fight for me.” ~Laura Hackett~