Take the photo as you see it. There is a sentimental meaning for me but it will be different for you. My mom recently reminded me that when I was about two years old I would read the story about Moses leading the Egyptians out of slavery in some kids version of Exodus. When it got to the part where he faced Pharaoh to challenge authority I would yell “LET MY PEOPLE GO!” She said I had this strong sense of injustice even as a little girl, cheeky. Well not much has changed. The thing is that I think all of us want freedom, that everyone can point out injustice, it’s just that we don’t all agree on what that is. What if we don’t ever come to agree? Should that deny humanity freedom? For the sake of every person’s dignity and the human heart, I think not!
TRUE freedom is internal not external. This doesn’t mean that what happens on the outside doesn’t matter. This doesn’t mean that poor working conditions, racial oppression, sexism, gender inequalities, malnutrition, disease, environmental degradation, and so much more are to be ignored. Just say no to ignorance. However, what happens inside our hearts on a deep personal level, at the core of who we are when we dialogue with Love, with the trinity who offers grace and mercy without neglecting justice, is where freedom can be found. This is what changes people, this is what moves people beyond comfort. God’s power is internal and noncoercive; Love does not abuse and force, it requests response. Our choices don’t earn love (Grace), our choices matter for the sake of freedom (Justice).
In Phillip Yancey’s book, “The Jesus I Never Knew” he talks about his visit to the Soviet empire in 1991 when it was crumbling and the entire nation was trying to rediscover itself. Freedom was being controlled under communist rule but for a ‘good’ cause. In many ways it really was for the common good, so that people could have equality. Yancey mentions his conversation that he had with the editors of Pravda, the former mouthpiece to the communist party. He explains that with the fall from grace that this party had taken the editors seemed “earnest, sincere, searching---shaken to the core,” because some were asking advice from those who were considered “the opiate of the people,” Christians. Yancey follows with:
“The editors remarked wistfully that Christianity and communism have many of the same ideals; equality, sharing, justice, and racial harmony. Yet they had to admit the Marxist pursuit of that vision had produced the worst nightmares the world had ever seen. Why? ‘We don’t know how to motivate people to show compassion,’ said the editor-in-chief. ‘We tried raising money for the children of Chernobyl, but the average Russian citizen would rather spend their money on drink. How do you reform and motivate people? How do you get them to be good?”
Aren’t these questions that the Marxists Communists were asking the same ones our Neoliberal Global Capitalists are asking today? How do we get people to be good? Perhaps WE can’t.
In my Anthropology class we discuss the history of ‘citizenship’ and all it entails. Too much to get into in a blog, I need a book I suppose. Basically, getting people to be ‘good’ is the driving force of most international citizenship today. I’m not bashing helping people. I myself am hosting a clothing swap fundraiser this weekend. What I am getting at is that our HEARTS matter; what’s happening on the inside. Academics have a nice word for it called ‘critical reflexivity,’ where we as social scientists are told to self-access when performing research to attempt to avoid bias moving us to a more intersubjective stance. BLAH blah blah. In everyday language that would be ‘Check your motives and prejudices’ and in Christianese that would be “Where’s your heart?” Now all of this is great but people stop doing this when what they find isn’t so nice? What happens when we discover that our hearts actually are pretty messy gardens that need some clean up? No one is perfect. I don’t think the solution is striving to be better; instead it’s having a friend who is Love, to be honest with in order to change our hearts and in turn our beings experience of life. Where does this leave us?
I had this experience in my second year of University where I was putting on my mascara, looking at myself in the mirror completely concerned with all the terrible things going on in the world. Hence, being an IDS major but then I heard, very clearly, God say “Jessica, you’re trying to fix the world and the people in it when you’re heart is the one that needs fixing.” This was a major point of conviction in my life and a mark on my journey I hold close.
True, sacrificial, grace filled LOVE compels people. However, can we be patient in our passion. I don’t have it all right, but I’m learning, getting to know God intimately as well as the people around me. Yet I do know that freedom comes in relationship, healing happens in community, through commitments. There is no binary, polarized, black and white solution. Although, I’d love that, math formulas were always easier for me than expression, they were safe. The thing is it’s hard to resist shortcut solutions, especially when culture is full or them.
This said, I refuse to be ‘good’ because it’s my duty as a citizen to do so, or because I’m being forced to through some form of slavery. Bottom line, WE’RE not the judges of good, but we often need some help acknowledging what’s up inside us. Should we start helping out a country like Haiti when a natural disaster hits because all eyes of surveillance are on us to do so? Oh wait, the Olympics are on so I’m sure Haiti is history now.
Listen, I realize that it isn’t so simple, that we have procedures, and security protocols to abide by. I realize how complicated we’ve made this but really, what happened to genuinely caring about the people in front of us? How do we care for our sons, our moms, our dads, our sisters, our roommates, our friends, our local community, or our enemies to our beliefs? Who are we responding to? I don’t want to sound like I’ve got it all together but I have personally seen freedom in my own families life through choosing forgiveness by a hand of grace. My heart here is to see relationships free from shame, fear and control. If you’ve figured it out that’s cool, that's your agency. I’m just saying I needed some help because striving to be heard through frustration, bitterness and resentment wasn't working!
Are we willing to respond to a power that is free from fear, greed or the promise of security in the ways we’re so used to by authorities unperfected? Don’t give up because it’s not easy and don’t be afraid to change and surround yourself by people who wont just tell you what you want to hear. We need each other. We need to know God is so for us and for our freedom that he granted us the power to live as though he doesn’t exist, if we’d prefer. Are we okay living this way, without, missing?
“Goodness cannot be imposed externally, from the top down; it must grow internally, from the bottom up.” -Phillip Yancey
