Unexpected exit signs...

Wouldn't it be nice if while we were on this journey called life there was road signs directing us to change, if there was notice of the next exit called 'change?' Sure we having inklings that change is on the way, little warnings that things wont stay as they are and yet we are still surprised when it happens. Or at least I know I am.

With Autumn still here
Leaves still transfiguring
I've been thinking...
Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second,
Our colour changes due to our weather conditions.

Obviously most of us know this. Seasons change, things shift, there's movement all around us, there's transformation within us. However, I just can't seem to get used to it.
Maybe an appropriate question is, am I supposed to? If I'm used to change is it change anymore?

The reason I'm mulling over this is because there has been a lot, and I mean A LOT of change in my life as of late. It's not bad but it's definitely uncomfortable. I was up chatting with God a few weeks ago and telling him that it's just too much at once, I feel like I'm dying. He responded with "oh my sweets, you're not dying it's just your comfortability." You can only imagine my reaction. My comfortability was meeting it's grave and I wasn't very impressed. Although, after some serious processing I understand a bit better. I wasn't dying but this thing, this stuck in familiarity thing was. I realize that God wasn't trying to prevent me from feeling relaxed, safe or anything like that, but rather this was about recognizing that when life shows up wearing uncomfortable with an unexpected accessory, God is the comforter.

My safety
My security
The one who is unchanging
The same, forever,
The I AM!

This is something that I've been learning on this journey and that I'm sure I will continue to unpack as I re-open my suitcase.
When I was in grade 6 I had to pick a speech topic to present for the end of the year. It was my first year at a new school where I knew no one. While all my peers were choosing topics like "the movies," "music" or "cats," I chose change. My topic was change. I don't really remember too much of what I said but I do remember feeling like change left me without the things, people, and places I'd gown to love. I guess this transmitted to when change happens love is lost.

Now, if this is the case, while driving down the road of life and a change exit sign comes up who in their right mind would take it? That kind of logic is insane.

The lovely thing is that God so kindly reminded me that I was looking at it all backwards. That instead of looking at what I lost when change happened I needed to look at all that was gained. He was like "Glory to glory babe." Plus, since God is love, doesn't change and nothing can separate me from him I can live in transition because inside this mess he's right beside me, never changing who he is. My constant, my unfailing.

I mean change is scary, there's a lack of control and although our situations may be terrible, sometimes we stay in them because their familiar; at least we know what to expect; at least we have control over bad. You see, when we fight change it still happens, maybe not on the outside but it takes a toll on our hearts. The changes will happen inside regardless, what will your results be? A functional heart or a hard one? Life or death? We actually stop love when we don't allow change because love and control can't chill out together. God was right, as usual...I had it very backwards.

So maybe you've heard all this before and that's alright. I've just been pondering it in my heart, as I often do, and wanted to share it with you because living a life of love isn't safe, secure, and consistent; it's radical, capricious, and freckled!

If we're going to actually LIVE in this journey and not just survive we need to start enjoying the scenery on the exits of change because we're not the only ones on the road. There's plenty of beauty to see, and I'm sure what you see while peering out the window with Love will be unexpected. Let God drive so you can look out the window, don't miss it.

God I need an editor! I'll leave you with wise words by C.S. lewis, he will say what I intended in way less words than me...

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries: avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or the coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."